Please Remember: We Are Mums, We Are All Doing Our Best


To my fellow mothers,

Please remember: we’re all mums. Instinctively and naturally, we want what’s best for our babies. To me, that goes without saying. Criticising mums (for whatever reason) who are doing their best to look after their babies, is not necessary.

We all do what we think is best. We know our children better than anyone. We would give them everything, if we could. We would give them our lives! We do our research, we take some risks when we feel they are worth taking, we make choices that we deem safe and suitable, we bend over backwards to have a happy and healthy baby. Yeah, we also make mistakes – lots of them – but we’re learning on the job, like everyone else. That doesn’t mean that every choice we make is a mistake just because you don’t agree with it. We might actually know what we’re doing, you know!

It’s pointless bringing down or denigrating other mums simply because they don’t raise their children exactly the way you raise yours. Sure, we can do our best to share the knowledge, to raise awareness and to encourage one another to look into things that we give or do to our babies, but why look down or judge a mother for choosing to look after their children the way they see fit?

Does it matter if you breastfeed or formula-feed? Does it matter if you use Waterwipes or baby wipes from the pound shop? Does it matter if you feed your baby home-cooked meals or ready-made pouches and jars? Does it matter if you bath them in water or use a bath wash of your choice? Does it matter if you give them Calpol or chamomile tea when they are in pain? Does any of it matter when you know mums only want what’s best for their children?

It’s ok to have an opinion and to share it, but it’s not ok to get personal and give other mums the ‘naughty’ label if they don’t do exactly what you chose to do with your children. Being supportive is way more helpful than being judgemental.

This is my plea for a less judgemental community for us mums. The job is hard as enough as it is without anyone telling us we’re doing it wrong. There’s far too much negativity around when it comes to opinions on how mums should or should not raise their children.

We could really do with more empathy, don’t you think?


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  • Sara Ali

    I love this post! Being a young mother I have learnt so much from my own mistakes but I have definitely been put on the spot before by other mothers and in turn made me rethink my own choices when doing things for my son but as I am growing as a mother I am learning to block unwanted judgemental statements x

    Sara Ali |

  • mousumee

    Loved this, Ysis. No mother is out there to harm her baby intentionally. Unless one is doing something drastically dangerous, there is no need to be so judgemental. If something works for one, it wouldn’t necessarily work for another. They say happy mums make happy babies and a mum can be happy only when she has peace of mind, when she sees her little one content irrespective of whether he has just eaten from a jar or a mum cooked meal.

  • Maria

    Well said! Too bad not judging seems to be too hard in our society. I find that people around me are decent enough not to voice some of their judgement but it is something that tends to be easy to perceive anyways. Got me to not turn to most of my relatives with babies for advice or for compassion. It’s sad, really. And when doing smth to/with my little one that isn’t a ‘generally accepted method’, I feel like I constantly have to justify my actions to a selected bunch.

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