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16 December 2018
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I give myself permission to parent each child diff

I give myself permission to parent each child differently.
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I had this idea engrained in my mind that in order to be fair, I have to parent my kids the same way.
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But didn’t Aristole teach us, thousands of years ago, that true fairness and justice is treating equals equally and unequals unequally?
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This is the most fundamental principle of justice (I was paying attention in my Philosophy class at Uni! 😉).
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And aren’t kids so different and beautifully unique?
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I give myself permission to treat them differently and feel ok about it.
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James is order, Bella is chaos. They are similar in a lot of ways, but fundamentally different at the same time. She will climb a tree without a problem, he will recite the alphabet backwards like it’s no big deal.
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How can I parent both of them the same way and be fair?
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Over the years I’ve learned what works (mostly) for each of them, and it’s taken a lot to accept that although my love is the same for both of them, my parenting is - and has to be - different.
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Remember, people will have opinions about anything you are doing - they always will, even if it comes from a place of love - but you have to trust yourself; give yourself permission to set different boundaries for your kids.
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They will thank you later in life; I know I thank mine for giving us enough respect to the parent us differently. 💛
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#mindfulmotherhoodmoment

Can’t wait for an evening of Netflix, wine and s

Can’t wait for an evening of Netflix, wine and sleeping children! ☺️ I’ve been trying to get into Dark but can’t seem to get past the first episode... does it get better? I keep falling asleep and having to rewatch the bit I missed! 😬 Also started Hunters on Prime with Al Pacino, and so far so good. (I did also fall asleep at the end as well...) Oh and I have a couple of Love Island Australia episodes to catch up on! Are you watching it? 💕🌴
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What’s on your watch list for tonight?

If you get tired, learn to rest, not to quit. Swip

If you get tired, learn to rest, not to quit. Swipe for a shareable ⬅️✨
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I was never taught to rest.
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Doing was always seen as better than not doing in my family; perhaps because my single mum raising three children on her own had no chance to catch her breath. If not her, then who?
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Over the years of seeing doing as achieving, coupled with my people-pleasing nature, “doing” become my thing.
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I'm a go-getter, I'm a woman of action, I get things done. I'm do-er, that's who I am.
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Got 5 minutes before I have to leave? Quickly throw a load in the washing machine. One child in school? Better get busy with the littlest one; let's bake some banana bread. Kids are happy a minute? I can fill in that back to school form, send 5 emails and quickly tidy up the post-lunch mess.
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That's perfectly acceptable in my life and in none of these situations do I stop to consider that maybe I could just sit down for a moment.
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I harshly judge myself and others (sorry, husband!) for having moments of rest.
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I feel guilty for the times I simply stand still. And I'm not even talking about taking time for myself; somehow that makes me feel less guilty than resting because doing something for me is still doing.
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The idea that my worth isn't in what I do has been a major breakthrough for me recently.
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I've lived this narrative for so long that I find it stressful to even think about taking time to rest. I can’t switch off from all the things I could/should/would be doing. I can't help but associate rest with time wasted.
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But that's changing. Albeit very slowly, I'm learning that rest is good and it doesn't make me less deserving of love and appreciation.
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I'm hoping that the more I say it, the more the voice inside me believes it and soon it will become a normal thing to do, just like showering or eating.
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P.S: This text took an unexpected turn! I get that Banksy's quote is supposed to focus on comparing resting and quitting, but I saw an opportunity for deep personal reflection when I read it, and I ran with it. 💛
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#restisnotawasteoftime #mindfulmotherhoodmoment

Be the one who points out what is going right and

Be the one who points out what is going right and helps out with what is going wrong. 💫
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Swipe left for a shareable ⬅️
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#intentionalliving #positivelife #positivemindset #bethelight #positivequotes

Be right or be happy. ⠀⠀ Sometimes we have to

Be right or be happy.
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Sometimes we have to choose.
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When our opinions become so strong that being right becomes more important than being happy, it’s time to take a step back and think about what’s really important.
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This is something I have been thinking about a lot lately, especially in my marriage and the pressure that comes with being together 24/7 during lockdown. Arguments are inevitable.
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So I ask myself:
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Do I want to be right or do I want to be happy? Which is more important?
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Which is healthier?
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Which brings me closer to those I love and care about? Which fosters a stronger relationship?
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Being right is nice... but it doesn’t equate to being happy. And if we’re happy, usually it doesn’t really matter who’s right or wrong. Right? 😉
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If your discussions with your partner, family and friends are becoming quite tense and uncomfortable, you may be focusing too much on being right and not enough on being happy.
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This is a big one for me to practice more often. I have such a strong sense of right and wrong, but sometimes I could do with letting that take a back seat and focus on the bigger picture.
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I hope you enjoyed this reflection. Do you see room for improvement in how you handle arguments and being right vs being happy? 💛
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#intentionalliving

Rest up, mama. ⠀⠀ Yeah sure, do other things t

Rest up, mama.
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Yeah sure, do other things that fulfil you as well - workout, cook, meditate, read a book. But remember to rest.
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I can see how tense I am here.
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Shoulders locked up, legs ready to jump out. I didn’t even bother getting under the duvet because... (gosh, it sounds so weird when I say it out loud) it’s harder to get up if I need to.
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This was a real attempt at a nap. I kept the door open and asked the kids to play upstairs, just so I can listen out for any sound of trouble.
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Talk about self-sabotage!
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Rest is a huge struggle of mine. Even when my body eventually rests, I battle with my mind to stop thinking about everything I need to do.
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The pencil case supplies I mustn’t forget, the invoice that needs to be sent, the mince that goes off today. Oh and I must schedule a zoom call with my family to check on how they are doing.
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In the midst of worrying about everyone I leave no room for rest. And when I do, I set myself up for failure.
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Next time I’ll put some hard boundaries down. Even if I have to bribe them with chocolate buttons if they agree to sit down and watch a movie for 20 minutes. 😆
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P.S: check my Stories for Bella’s idea of what mummy’s nap time looked like! 🤦🏻‍♀️💖
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#mindfulmotherhoodmoment

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